Enneagram Type 3
Enneagram 3s- Achievers. Performers. 3s’ primary motivation is affirmation. To a 3, to be valued is to be loved. 3s are charming, fun, strong leaders and always buttoned up in appearance and presentation. 3s are masters at setting and exceeding goals. They love visibility, spotlight, and accolades. 3s are often humans doing vs. humans being, driven by external success.
The shadow side of 3 is inauthentic- shape shifting to meet the needs and expectations of whomever can help them advance. They become a chameleon eventually forgetting who they are, one day, waking up lost and devastated by their inability to live their truth. Shadow 3s become political in behavior and can be intentionally deceitful, embellishing and even lying about who they are to elevate themselves and impress others.
As children, 3s were likely overly rewarded for good behavior which tied their value to doing, rather than being. 3s want to be loved and often believe that performance is the only way they become worthy of it. 3s are masters of marketing themselves, but in doing so, isolate themselves from authentic friendships and relationships leaving them lonely and feeling unworthy of true connection.
Wing of 2 (the Helper/Giver) creates a strong Charmer, and Wing of 4 (the Individualist/Romantic) creates a strong Professional. 3s are members of the Heart triad, meaning their responses and decision making comes more emotionally to them (as opposed to instinctually [Gut] or thoughtfully [Head]). In stress, 3s lean into shadow 9 (Mediator/Peacemaker) becoming unproductive, conflict averse, unmotivated and full of self doubt. In support, 3s lean into 6 (the Loyalist/Questioner) opening up, and shifting their focus off of their own success and onto the success of the common group, helping all rise.
Common occupations of Enneagram 3s include (but are not limited to) Sales, Marketing, Advertising, C-Suite Executive Roles, Entrepreneurs, Politicians, Lawyers, Judges, Investment Bankers and Surgeons. Quite the spread! Remember - this is the tip of the iceberg, folks. Enneagram 3s are brilliant leaders and coworkers.
Support them by reminding them they are loved when they are just “being” too.
If you find yourself wanting more information about the Enneagram, consider taking my online introductory course which will give you a more in depth overview, and provide a path to help you discover your type!