Judgment and Compassion
This lesson keeps repeating itself, and I am making it my mission to lock in the learning.
Here is something awkward and confusing to think about: compassion is not just a set-aside tool to bring out for the underdog or marginalized. As a matter of fact, when it is only used in that context, it can become (and often is) performative. Ugh. That is hard to say because, hi! It me 👋🏻. It is a lot of us. Well intended and judgmental AF. Self-righteous is also a term that comes to mind.
Here is the deal: truth / / I reserve my auto-pilot judgment for people the most like me. Because, well, we judge from our own pain.
Something to think about 🤔: finding compassion for the ones I don’t agree with, the ones who seem strong, the ones who seem to have it easy...might be the greatest work of my life. Why? Because when I shift my judgment into compassion for them, I am actually being more compassionate to myself.
It’s easy to exercise compassion for the underdog when I am a natural protector (hi, Enneagram 8 here). That is not my work.
My work is the reminder: my power extends to that which belongs to me. Not what belongs to others. When I throw it around, the only one I am fooling is myself. Really stepping into power comes when the shield is dropped, the performance concludes, and I grapple with the judgment of others I carry with me. When I move from a place of pain and shame to love.
The law of polarity states that everything is dual. Opposites are two separate and equal parts of the same thing.
With regard to ego, the energy I put toward judgment of the non-oppressed is the same energy of judgment that privileged put toward oppressed. Different poles, same animal. It will perpetuate judgment.
When I scale it out further though and move into the existential, compassion is the polar opposite of judgment. Same energy level, different outcome.
Hard to grapple with. However, I find that when I dismantle the judgment and operate from compassion, productive dialog begins, and the change I wish to see becomes.